Why is that?

I have my theories as you might imagine…  I think we make decisions early in life based on what other people want, what other people expect from us, regardless of whether it fits into our dreams.

How many people do you know that have a college degree that they worked hard for, and somebody likely spent a lot of money for, and now are either doing something else entirely? I’ll bet you only know a handful of people that are are doing what they were “schooled” for and of the ones that are,  I’ll bet many of them are miserable!

Some of our decisions are made for us… Like children. Many kids are “accidents”. But they are accidents that can change the course of your life! Some of us even go so far as to marry the person that we have an accident with… Kinda like compounding the accident. Before ya say it, I’m all for kids having two parents, I have just seen too many of these situations NOT work out because the parents are miserable with themselves and each other… and the kids feel that, and will pay for that for years to come!

Here’s a challenge for ya, and I have asked this before and gotten some replies, but I challenge you to go deeper this time. To spend some time with this answer. It’s important, so treat it like that!

I’ll do mine and my hope is that you will follow me!

What is your dream?

This will come as no surprise to many of you. I dream of living my life in Key West, Fl. (Now here is where I DON”T want you to stop… Go deeper)

I dream of living a life where I can be in service to other business owners and people. I already have a pretty successful Coaching and Consulting practice, but I want to focus my skills and talents in Key West.

Key West is a small Island, with a LOT of businesses. I want to make a real difference to the city, the community and the people of Key West. I want to help people achieve the dream that they came to key West looking for.

Many people move here looking for a place that they can enjoy a life filled with their friends and family and fun in the sun. Sadly most get lost a long the way, many people haven’t stepped foot  on a boat in years (Even though this was a big chunk of their dreams) I want  to help them find and achieve that dream by helping them grow their businesses, by helping them re-prioritize their lives, by helping them learn to dream again!

I know if I follow this dream fearlessly, if I ignore all the naysayers and jealous people, if I listen to my intuition, in the end, I’ll lay my head to rest for my final rest with a peaceful soul… and that in the end is my dream… To live life with a peaceful, loving soul and a life filled with laughter and love!

See as I wrote this I gained clarity! My dream is really “To live life with a peaceful, loving soul and a life filled with laughter and love!”!

Please take some time to really think about your reply. I would LOVE to help you follow your dream fearlessly as I am!And don’t get me wrong, I go through periods of wondering if I am doing the right thing, but I always, when I search in my heart, realize that I am on the right path to achieve my REAL dream!

I’ll leave you with these lyrics from “The Impossible Dream” from the Musical “The Man OF La Mancha”…

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I’ll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I’m laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Good luck and I look forward to your comments!

Fast forward to 2010. I’m now approaching 50, the Internet is commonplace, Facebook is the way we communicate with each other now. I started digging through old friends and found Susan’s Facebook page…. if I’m to be really naked, a bit of trepidation came over me. The 14-year-old boy in me was awakened. Old feelings came up. Am I good enough? Will she friend me back? What if she doesn’t friend me back?

Now logically, none of this really matters. I’ve been married for 10 years, dated my wife for 10 years before that, so what’s the big deal? I realize as I write this, that there is so much old programming that still controls what we do from day to day. As much as I think I’ve gotten rid of my old programming, there’s still a lot of that old beaten-down 14-year-old kid that resides inside my heart. Fear. Insecurity. Self-consciousness. And you know what, as I think about it, I’m not positive you can grow up without things like that programed into you. You’d have to live in such a sanitized world. I think, that you would probably have no personality! Plus… how would we learn, after all it’s the mistakes, bumps and bruises that from who we are today!

So… what have we learned here? Well.. You don’t have to be a slave to your old programming. It’s a matter of recognizing when the old programming kicks in. Then you have a choice… change or allow the old programming to control you. Seems easy… not always so easy.

I do think the secret is in living in the now. It’s about being present, and about being aware of your choices and the fact that you’re making choices. You see, if you’re living in yesterday, or if you’re living in tomorrow, you’ll never be able to see the choices that you make today? It’s only by being fully present, that we can move outside of ourselves and watch the choices we make.

Now this choice was a fairly innocent choice, but there a lot of other choices we make all day long but are not so innocent. When, a car runs you off the road, often the first choice you make is to get angry, to yell at the other driver, probably make an obscene gesture, and perhaps use language you wouldn’t use around your priest! That’s a choice! Now let’s analyze this for one second… many of us drive and are kind of asleep when we drive. This applies to the other driver and to you! Had you been fully present, you would have likely caught the other drivers mistake before it became an issue. If the other driver had been fully present, they would have likely not veered into your lane. Your choice would’ve simply been to make a correction, and go on with your day. You would have been free to make that choice, not get aggravated and a very calmly look at this as another driver’s innocent mistake… not an assault on you.

We make the same choices all day long, with our spouse, with our associates at work, with the person we order our Venti Mocha Latte from. How do we control the choices? I’m starting to understand, that the secret really is being present in the now.  For only when we are present in the now, are we free to make these choices. This is really easy to talk about, but not so easy to make a daily practice.

Here’s an exercise I’d like you to try with me. When wer’e driving, let’s commit to being totally 100% present and really in the now. See how it feels to not be distracted by the music on the radio, by the thoughts of where you’re going, or where you’ve been.  Just focus on what’s happening RIGHT NOW!  How long can you do that for? Try to make it through your whole commute to and from work.

How did that feel? Did you notice that you could make better choices? Did you notice you could make choices?

I’d like to leave you with a quote from Eckhart Tolle…

“Forget about your life situation. Pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind–stuff. Your life is real”

Talk to me about the exercise you did above. Did you notice you can make better choices? Can use that in other places in your life? Imagine, being totally present when you sit down at your desk to work. Imagine being totally present, and totally focused on just what you are working on. Do you think you get more done, do you think you get more done faster? Talk to me!

Oh… How did things end up with Susan? She friended me back and we have been getting to know each other. She’s a lovely woman wand a killer artisan. You can see the jewelry she makes at her Facebook page . Glad I thought about it and made the choice!

One of the things I have had a hard time NOT noticing is that a lot of us end up where we are in life without a plan, very unintentionally.

For a long time, my path was very random, I would seize opportunity when it showed itself. I would start a job, get promoted a bit, get promoted again, and then get unhappy and leave.

This was a trend and a mistake many companies make… Many companies take their top sales guys and turn them into sales managers… This is often the end of the road for the sales guy. The sales guy loved being in contact with the people, he loved selling, now he pushes papers around on his desk and screams at his sales guys. It’s a sill trend and if more managers thought ahead they would leave a good sales guy where he belongs… SELLING!

So I ended up looking in the help wanted ads (In those days Craig did not have a list of jobs for me!) I found another opportunity and started the cycle over again..

I realized one day that I was in this pattern and needed to create my life on purpose. Since the accidental life is so common I decided I would share my thoughts and help some of ya that realize… “Hey…. this is not where I want to be. I’m not happy and I’m ready to take the steps to find out what I am really supposed to be doing!”

Your first tip… You can be or do just about anything you want to do.

The questions is…

Should you be doing it?

Dare to Dream

Take an hour today and make up a list of what you really dream of being.

I know this may be a stretch for some of you as I have found, many of us have forgotten how to dream. Let go of who you are today.

Just imagine… “if money and time were no object what would really bring you joy and happiness”. It could be a physical thing like a new vacation home in Key West, maybe it’s a new profession… this will be different for everyone.

Have fun with this exercise. It’s a small step, but an important step to developing and planning to have an unreasonably wonderful, joyous life.

Please let me know what you are dreaming of in the comments below, Lets all get wild and crazy and dream today!

I’ll start off…
I dream of living, year round, in my wonderful home in Key West where I am inspired to work every day helping my Clients achieve every dream and goal they have! I know if I help they they will help me achieve my dreams!

My wife and I went to Montego Bay in Jamaica, and stayed at the Half Moon resort. We had a Beach Front Suite, literally about 20 steps from the Caribbean Sea. % star meals, peace, quiet fun and relaxing.

One of our favorite things to do was a Dolphin Experience. We got to swim with 2 Atlantic Bottle Nose Dolphins that live on the resort in their Dolphin Lagoon. (They also had 4 of the most adorable Dolphin babies there!)

Here’s a little video of our experience!

Pretty cool, huh? It was so great to be able to just – exhale… We spend so much time as Entrepreneurs running and rushing, we really need to just unplug and ‘get the hell out of Dodge!!

I’ll share with you over the next few days some of my insights, and I had a bunch.

I did my best thinking at Sunrise. I LOVE Sunsets on the ocean, but Sunrise has almost a magical feeling to it, it’s so peaceful, so warm, it always inspires me and reminds me that today is a day fill of new possibilities, opportunities and blessings.

More to come tomorrow!
We be Jammin Mon!
John

But… until you learn to be you, until you learn to offer what you only can offer, based on your own original life and business experiences, you’ll really be a fraud….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

Let this video remind you to be you. You are an original. You have unique experiences. Share them today!

Dig yourself…

John

How we react to that fear is often the deciding factor in whether the change will be a good change or a bad change…

Check out this article by Doug Sundheim from Clarity Consulting. Doug nails it on the head!

“The things we fear most in organizations — fluctuations, disturbances, imbalances — are the primary sources of creativity.”
– Margaret J. Wheatley (author, organizational consultant)

Consider This:

One of the most misunderstood gifts that life gives a person or organization is a set of challenges. While rarely welcome, they serve the invaluable purpose of throwing you off of your game – usually when you need it most. They force you to stop – reflect – dig down – and get creative in order survive and thrive. You need challenges. They are the seeds of your greatest ideas.

The biggest mistake you can make when you come face-to-face with a challenge is to resist it. To beat yourself up for having gotten into the situation in the first place. When you do, you’re putting your energy in the wrong place. Instead, get curious about how you got there. See it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Talk it out with others. Don’t stay in your own head. Challenges themselves don’t determine your quality of life – your relationship to them does.

Try This:

1. Think about something you’re feeling bad about right now
2. When you think about this situation, what are you most afraid of?
3. Find someone to share your fears with. Make it someone you trust and who you can be honest with (This is an important step as your fears have a way of dissipating when they hit the light of day)
4. As you move past the fear, what do you see on the other side? (hint, your creative mind will re-engage and you’ll begin to see possibilities that the fear was hiding)
5. Pursue those creative possibilities
6. Repeat frequently as new challenges arise

- Doug Sundheim

Doug Sundheim is an organizational consultant, author, & speaker. To learn more about his services visit him online at www.clarityconsulting.com

Faith can be in yourself, faith in the universe or God… or even  faith in your business process.

Faith is hard to get when you don’t have it.

Its also hard to ‘teach” people to have faith, but I’ve found you can be coached into having faith.

You could hire me as a personal coach, and we can exercise that faith muscle ’till its big and strong…

…or ask your spouse, a friend, a partner (make sure they support your project first) to be a faith coach or a cheerleader. When you ‘re down, they encourage you to keep plugging, when your confused they help you de-scramble the jigsaw puzzle etc…

Teach Faith

Ya know one ofthe best ways to become faithful… Coach others to have faith. Find someone that is down on themselves and Coach them, be their cheerleader. You’ll be amazed by whet you learn when you teach! I  always learn from my Coaching Clients!

Sammy Hagar Teaches us Faith

In the immortal word sof Sammy Hagar in the song “Give To Live” :

” If you want faith,  just believe a little.”

Just for a moment…   suspend disbelief in yourself,your project and your company and imagine what it would be like to have your plan work…

When you look at the past, don’t focus on the down side… Ya know, all those stumbles and falls were just lessons.

My good friend Andy Jenkins of Stompernet tells me “there is no success or failure… only positive or negative test results”

My dear reader… life is a test, learn from it and then take action on what you have learned, tweak you attitude and actions based on the past results!

Sometimes it will be blind action, but have faith in the process, after all… babies have faith that they will one day walk like their Mom and Dad, and they keep trying until they get it right!

Learn from yesterday and move forward to day with fiath that you will have a test result by the end of the day!

Make it an unusual day!

John