And that’s OK… But is it independence?

In an effort to be really Naked with you… I felt like a real freak most of my life… I really felt that I was a misfit. Like I didn’t fit in… Maybe you can relate to that. I was never one of the popular cool kids… I was the kid that got picked on, the kid picked last for sports, and I had a BITCH of a time dating!

Now looking back, I was different. I zigged while other kids zagged. I was always a Theater geek and found a place for myself behind the scenes. Who knew that that was gonna be a life choice. Now the kid that was beat up does special effects for bands like Taylor Swift, The Blue Man Group, Carlos Santana, Mariah Carey etc…

Now I also, based on a lot of my life experience, very successfully Coach many adults to success. Ya see, if I hadn’t been a misfit, I never would have found the lessons I needed to really reach a successful place in life! It’s finally being kinda happy being a misfit, that has made me successful

The reason I tell you this is I am starting a new Coaching program. It will be ONLY for young people, I think 15-21 years old. It will be a safe place for them to communicate their fears, to get feedback on their ideas, and to help them realize that “different” is GOOD! That just because they don’t feel like they fit in doesn’t mean they can’t be wildly happy and successful…

My first group will be in Shelton CT. Not sure where yet, we will do this as a group, a Mastermind if you will. So we’ll limit this to 12 young people. This will be a serious group, though it will also be a LOT of fun. I have proven that if you are passionate about something, you have a dramatically better chance of being successful. Stop trying to fit that square peg into the round hole!

I often fantasized about being a Rock Star and sometimes felt kinda empty because I was just a Roadie… Until one of my friends Charlie Hernandez (Tour Manager for Artist’s like Madonna, and founder of Just A Bunch Of Roadies ) said at one of our conferences “ Ya know if it weren’t for us… these guys would be just a bunch of old guys running around the stage in makeup!”. It was then I realized how important what I do is and how glad I am to be a misfit….

If you would like to be in our first group or if you have a child that you think would be a great addition to the group, just text your name and e-mail address to:

(203) 567-4214

In celebration of Our Nations Independence please enjoy this video that celebrates our individual independence!

Have a safe and happy Fourth of July!

Why is that?

I have my theories as you might imagine…  I think we make decisions early in life based on what other people want, what other people expect from us, regardless of whether it fits into our dreams.

How many people do you know that have a college degree that they worked hard for, and somebody likely spent a lot of money for, and now are either doing something else entirely? I’ll bet you only know a handful of people that are are doing what they were “schooled” for and of the ones that are,  I’ll bet many of them are miserable!

Some of our decisions are made for us… Like children. Many kids are “accidents”. But they are accidents that can change the course of your life! Some of us even go so far as to marry the person that we have an accident with… Kinda like compounding the accident. Before ya say it, I’m all for kids having two parents, I have just seen too many of these situations NOT work out because the parents are miserable with themselves and each other… and the kids feel that, and will pay for that for years to come!

Here’s a challenge for ya, and I have asked this before and gotten some replies, but I challenge you to go deeper this time. To spend some time with this answer. It’s important, so treat it like that!

I’ll do mine and my hope is that you will follow me!

What is your dream?

This will come as no surprise to many of you. I dream of living my life in Key West, Fl. (Now here is where I DON”T want you to stop… Go deeper)

I dream of living a life where I can be in service to other business owners and people. I already have a pretty successful Coaching and Consulting practice, but I want to focus my skills and talents in Key West.

Key West is a small Island, with a LOT of businesses. I want to make a real difference to the city, the community and the people of Key West. I want to help people achieve the dream that they came to key West looking for.

Many people move here looking for a place that they can enjoy a life filled with their friends and family and fun in the sun. Sadly most get lost a long the way, many people haven’t stepped foot  on a boat in years (Even though this was a big chunk of their dreams) I want  to help them find and achieve that dream by helping them grow their businesses, by helping them re-prioritize their lives, by helping them learn to dream again!

I know if I follow this dream fearlessly, if I ignore all the naysayers and jealous people, if I listen to my intuition, in the end, I’ll lay my head to rest for my final rest with a peaceful soul… and that in the end is my dream… To live life with a peaceful, loving soul and a life filled with laughter and love!

See as I wrote this I gained clarity! My dream is really “To live life with a peaceful, loving soul and a life filled with laughter and love!”!

Please take some time to really think about your reply. I would LOVE to help you follow your dream fearlessly as I am!And don’t get me wrong, I go through periods of wondering if I am doing the right thing, but I always, when I search in my heart, realize that I am on the right path to achieve my REAL dream!

I’ll leave you with these lyrics from “The Impossible Dream” from the Musical “The Man OF La Mancha”…

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I’ll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I’m laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Good luck and I look forward to your comments!

Fast forward to 2010. I’m now approaching 50, the Internet is commonplace, Facebook is the way we communicate with each other now. I started digging through old friends and found Susan’s Facebook page…. if I’m to be really naked, a bit of trepidation came over me. The 14-year-old boy in me was awakened. Old feelings came up. Am I good enough? Will she friend me back? What if she doesn’t friend me back?

Now logically, none of this really matters. I’ve been married for 10 years, dated my wife for 10 years before that, so what’s the big deal? I realize as I write this, that there is so much old programming that still controls what we do from day to day. As much as I think I’ve gotten rid of my old programming, there’s still a lot of that old beaten-down 14-year-old kid that resides inside my heart. Fear. Insecurity. Self-consciousness. And you know what, as I think about it, I’m not positive you can grow up without things like that programed into you. You’d have to live in such a sanitized world. I think, that you would probably have no personality! Plus… how would we learn, after all it’s the mistakes, bumps and bruises that from who we are today!

So… what have we learned here? Well.. You don’t have to be a slave to your old programming. It’s a matter of recognizing when the old programming kicks in. Then you have a choice… change or allow the old programming to control you. Seems easy… not always so easy.

I do think the secret is in living in the now. It’s about being present, and about being aware of your choices and the fact that you’re making choices. You see, if you’re living in yesterday, or if you’re living in tomorrow, you’ll never be able to see the choices that you make today? It’s only by being fully present, that we can move outside of ourselves and watch the choices we make.

Now this choice was a fairly innocent choice, but there a lot of other choices we make all day long but are not so innocent. When, a car runs you off the road, often the first choice you make is to get angry, to yell at the other driver, probably make an obscene gesture, and perhaps use language you wouldn’t use around your priest! That’s a choice! Now let’s analyze this for one second… many of us drive and are kind of asleep when we drive. This applies to the other driver and to you! Had you been fully present, you would have likely caught the other drivers mistake before it became an issue. If the other driver had been fully present, they would have likely not veered into your lane. Your choice would’ve simply been to make a correction, and go on with your day. You would have been free to make that choice, not get aggravated and a very calmly look at this as another driver’s innocent mistake… not an assault on you.

We make the same choices all day long, with our spouse, with our associates at work, with the person we order our Venti Mocha Latte from. How do we control the choices? I’m starting to understand, that the secret really is being present in the now.  For only when we are present in the now, are we free to make these choices. This is really easy to talk about, but not so easy to make a daily practice.

Here’s an exercise I’d like you to try with me. When wer’e driving, let’s commit to being totally 100% present and really in the now. See how it feels to not be distracted by the music on the radio, by the thoughts of where you’re going, or where you’ve been.  Just focus on what’s happening RIGHT NOW!  How long can you do that for? Try to make it through your whole commute to and from work.

How did that feel? Did you notice that you could make better choices? Did you notice you could make choices?

I’d like to leave you with a quote from Eckhart Tolle…

“Forget about your life situation. Pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind–stuff. Your life is real”

Talk to me about the exercise you did above. Did you notice you can make better choices? Can use that in other places in your life? Imagine, being totally present when you sit down at your desk to work. Imagine being totally present, and totally focused on just what you are working on. Do you think you get more done, do you think you get more done faster? Talk to me!

Oh… How did things end up with Susan? She friended me back and we have been getting to know each other. She’s a lovely woman wand a killer artisan. You can see the jewelry she makes at her Facebook page . Glad I thought about it and made the choice!

So I gotta a say.. I’m kinda pissed.  For the last few weeks my hands and arms have been really, really stiff and hurting.  So much that it’s hard to get dressed in the morning and typing is a REAL chore! Many will say – “Well… that’s part and parcel with Rheumatoid Arthritis!” ( I’ve had RA since I was about 20 years old… I’m a few decades older now!)

But ya know what…It doesn’t seem like it’s my bones anymore, it seems like it’s my Muscles! I get massaged regularly. Deep almost masochistic massage… very painful but it really is exactly what I need. I get Reiki twice a week and am trying to exercise more… but the pain persists… My Reiki Master Berta Prevosti tells me I’m releasing old anger and sadness… Now I don’t really get the whole Reiki thing, but I know it’s really helpful. I have a lot of faith!

I’ve been on a journey of growth and self exploration for about 10 years… I would have thought I would have gotten where I need to get buy now… but I’m learning that the journey is it’s own end. And when push comes to shove… I LOVE this journey! I LOVE growing! I LOVE helping others grow!

And that’s what keeps me going through really tough times like this. I have a passion. I know what my passion is. It’s kinda funny, but when I’m in service with others, a LOT of my pain goes away…

Do you really know your purpose. Do you really understand what you are here for. Now I’m not perfect with this yet, but I’m getting a lot better! I think many of us walk around and through life in quiet desperation, some of us realize that “there must be more to life than this”… some of us feel that we have peaked, and just figure that their purpose is to maintain status quo… I challenge that there is more for all of us. The power to have more is in our hands. No one can give it to you, you need to take it!

So what is your purpose. Maybe you’re not sure. Let me know if you’d like me to write more on how I found my purpose….

When you find yours will you be as excited as Steve Martin in this Clip?

Talk to me… What is your special purpose… How did you find it?

One of the things I have had a hard time NOT noticing is that a lot of us end up where we are in life without a plan, very unintentionally.

For a long time, my path was very random, I would seize opportunity when it showed itself. I would start a job, get promoted a bit, get promoted again, and then get unhappy and leave.

This was a trend and a mistake many companies make… Many companies take their top sales guys and turn them into sales managers… This is often the end of the road for the sales guy. The sales guy loved being in contact with the people, he loved selling, now he pushes papers around on his desk and screams at his sales guys. It’s a sill trend and if more managers thought ahead they would leave a good sales guy where he belongs… SELLING!

So I ended up looking in the help wanted ads (In those days Craig did not have a list of jobs for me!) I found another opportunity and started the cycle over again..

I realized one day that I was in this pattern and needed to create my life on purpose. Since the accidental life is so common I decided I would share my thoughts and help some of ya that realize… “Hey…. this is not where I want to be. I’m not happy and I’m ready to take the steps to find out what I am really supposed to be doing!”

Your first tip… You can be or do just about anything you want to do.

The questions is…

Should you be doing it?

Dare to Dream

Take an hour today and make up a list of what you really dream of being.

I know this may be a stretch for some of you as I have found, many of us have forgotten how to dream. Let go of who you are today.

Just imagine… “if money and time were no object what would really bring you joy and happiness”. It could be a physical thing like a new vacation home in Key West, maybe it’s a new profession… this will be different for everyone.

Have fun with this exercise. It’s a small step, but an important step to developing and planning to have an unreasonably wonderful, joyous life.

Please let me know what you are dreaming of in the comments below, Lets all get wild and crazy and dream today!

I’ll start off…
I dream of living, year round, in my wonderful home in Key West where I am inspired to work every day helping my Clients achieve every dream and goal they have! I know if I help they they will help me achieve my dreams!