Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

Today is a tired jumble of many things to do, it will be painfully long, but terribly short!

#Trust30

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

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I’m in shock… how could this be… I have always known that we all have the same exit… I just figured it would be later for  me…

Fuuuuuuuuck!

This sucks!! I have so much left to do… So much left to say… I cry for a minute… I then realize… I’m wasting time, what to do?

I’m stuck, but realize I better get unstuck pretty quickly. I pour myself a glass of  the Appleton Estates VX Rum that I bought in Jamaica 25 years ago. i always promised myself I would drink this when I moved to paradise… well that never happened, or maybe it’s about to happen. Hmmmm will I go to heaven or hell? Did I learn the lessons I needed to learn here? Did I teach the lessons I needed to teach? I guess I’ll know in about 12 minutes.

The Rum tastes good… smooth, and warming… it has a little bite in the back of my throat… Well time to stop regretting what I have done or haven’t done I guess!

I am alone, I can’t spend the next 12 minutes phoning friends, They would be shocked and it would be a lot of crying etc… not really how I want to be remembered….

I decide the best thing I can do is leave a message – should it be video, should I write something, this is my chance to leave a legacy.. what is my message?

I start, Well you will likely be as surprised as I am by this, but I am about to say goodbye for the last time. (I start to cry a little) I will miss everyone terribly – (Or will I? Who knows what’s ahead of me now!)

If I had one thing left to say… I think it would be to ask everyone to please take care of my Wife Amy and my two dogs Coconut and Mango. Please help them through this transition and please help Amy find someone else to love. My Dogs already love everyone!

Please follow your passion. Lift is too long to be miserable.

You make the rules, except for a very few things like Death… and taxes – and it would seem that some of us don’t pay taxes…. Nothing else is written in stone.

You can change today! You can be who you always dreamed of being. Don’t believe the assholes that tell you you can’t! I’m here to tell ya, at least for the next 5 minutes, that they are wrong. There are no limitations on your life, there is no stop sign setup to keep you from achieving your dreams.

Your parents did the best they could do, stop sniveling about what they did to you or didn’t do for you… Take charge of your own life!

Take chances, live without a safety net. It’s true that sometimes we need to jump first and grow our wings on the way down!

Do things that leave you breathless, do things that leave other breathless.

Love fully. If you have been harboring resentment or anger at or for someone, let it go… I promise you that resentment is hurting you more than them, in fact they likely don’t even notice it!

This is not a dress rehearsal, this is LIFE, the real show!

Be happy every day, if you’re not, change what needs to be changed to make you happy.

If you want to live somewhere else, pack your shit up and move… Or leave it behind!

Don’t be afraid to re-invent yourself. I’ve done it dozens of times and it really feels good.

You’re never too old to learn, develop a passion for learning new stuff! Just random fun stuff!

One minute left, the old cartoon ‘Goodbye Cruel World” keeps running through my head… What will this be like? I remember my Mentor Berta teaching me and reading in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying that I should be peaceful, I take some deep breaths and try to settle in for the trip, will this hurt, will I know it’s happening, will I just be worm food in a couple of minutes, (Will I press publish in time???)? I’ll see ya on the other side…

If you want to join me and take the challenge go to http://ralphwaldoemerson.me/

Fast forward to 2010. I’m now approaching 50, the Internet is commonplace, Facebook is the way we communicate with each other now. I started digging through old friends and found Susan’s Facebook page…. if I’m to be really naked, a bit of trepidation came over me. The 14-year-old boy in me was awakened. Old feelings came up. Am I good enough? Will she friend me back? What if she doesn’t friend me back?

Now logically, none of this really matters. I’ve been married for 10 years, dated my wife for 10 years before that, so what’s the big deal? I realize as I write this, that there is so much old programming that still controls what we do from day to day. As much as I think I’ve gotten rid of my old programming, there’s still a lot of that old beaten-down 14-year-old kid that resides inside my heart. Fear. Insecurity. Self-consciousness. And you know what, as I think about it, I’m not positive you can grow up without things like that programed into you. You’d have to live in such a sanitized world. I think, that you would probably have no personality! Plus… how would we learn, after all it’s the mistakes, bumps and bruises that from who we are today!

So… what have we learned here? Well.. You don’t have to be a slave to your old programming. It’s a matter of recognizing when the old programming kicks in. Then you have a choice… change or allow the old programming to control you. Seems easy… not always so easy.

I do think the secret is in living in the now. It’s about being present, and about being aware of your choices and the fact that you’re making choices. You see, if you’re living in yesterday, or if you’re living in tomorrow, you’ll never be able to see the choices that you make today? It’s only by being fully present, that we can move outside of ourselves and watch the choices we make.

Now this choice was a fairly innocent choice, but there a lot of other choices we make all day long but are not so innocent. When, a car runs you off the road, often the first choice you make is to get angry, to yell at the other driver, probably make an obscene gesture, and perhaps use language you wouldn’t use around your priest! That’s a choice! Now let’s analyze this for one second… many of us drive and are kind of asleep when we drive. This applies to the other driver and to you! Had you been fully present, you would have likely caught the other drivers mistake before it became an issue. If the other driver had been fully present, they would have likely not veered into your lane. Your choice would’ve simply been to make a correction, and go on with your day. You would have been free to make that choice, not get aggravated and a very calmly look at this as another driver’s innocent mistake… not an assault on you.

We make the same choices all day long, with our spouse, with our associates at work, with the person we order our Venti Mocha Latte from. How do we control the choices? I’m starting to understand, that the secret really is being present in the now.  For only when we are present in the now, are we free to make these choices. This is really easy to talk about, but not so easy to make a daily practice.

Here’s an exercise I’d like you to try with me. When wer’e driving, let’s commit to being totally 100% present and really in the now. See how it feels to not be distracted by the music on the radio, by the thoughts of where you’re going, or where you’ve been.  Just focus on what’s happening RIGHT NOW!  How long can you do that for? Try to make it through your whole commute to and from work.

How did that feel? Did you notice that you could make better choices? Did you notice you could make choices?

I’d like to leave you with a quote from Eckhart Tolle…

“Forget about your life situation. Pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind–stuff. Your life is real”

Talk to me about the exercise you did above. Did you notice you can make better choices? Can use that in other places in your life? Imagine, being totally present when you sit down at your desk to work. Imagine being totally present, and totally focused on just what you are working on. Do you think you get more done, do you think you get more done faster? Talk to me!

Oh… How did things end up with Susan? She friended me back and we have been getting to know each other. She’s a lovely woman wand a killer artisan. You can see the jewelry she makes at her Facebook page . Glad I thought about it and made the choice!

One of the things I have had a hard time NOT noticing is that a lot of us end up where we are in life without a plan, very unintentionally.

For a long time, my path was very random, I would seize opportunity when it showed itself. I would start a job, get promoted a bit, get promoted again, and then get unhappy and leave.

This was a trend and a mistake many companies make… Many companies take their top sales guys and turn them into sales managers… This is often the end of the road for the sales guy. The sales guy loved being in contact with the people, he loved selling, now he pushes papers around on his desk and screams at his sales guys. It’s a sill trend and if more managers thought ahead they would leave a good sales guy where he belongs… SELLING!

So I ended up looking in the help wanted ads (In those days Craig did not have a list of jobs for me!) I found another opportunity and started the cycle over again..

I realized one day that I was in this pattern and needed to create my life on purpose. Since the accidental life is so common I decided I would share my thoughts and help some of ya that realize… “Hey…. this is not where I want to be. I’m not happy and I’m ready to take the steps to find out what I am really supposed to be doing!”

Your first tip… You can be or do just about anything you want to do.

The questions is…

Should you be doing it?

Dare to Dream

Take an hour today and make up a list of what you really dream of being.

I know this may be a stretch for some of you as I have found, many of us have forgotten how to dream. Let go of who you are today.

Just imagine… “if money and time were no object what would really bring you joy and happiness”. It could be a physical thing like a new vacation home in Key West, maybe it’s a new profession… this will be different for everyone.

Have fun with this exercise. It’s a small step, but an important step to developing and planning to have an unreasonably wonderful, joyous life.

Please let me know what you are dreaming of in the comments below, Lets all get wild and crazy and dream today!

I’ll start off…
I dream of living, year round, in my wonderful home in Key West where I am inspired to work every day helping my Clients achieve every dream and goal they have! I know if I help they they will help me achieve my dreams!

Trust is something that’s earned. It’s not bought, negotiated, forced, or connived. Once you forfeit that trust in your relationship, it’s over. You have to start at the very beginning to win back that trust – and even at that it may be a losing cause.

I was just reading an article and I’ll copy it here… I think it explains the trust issue as well as I could, probably even better!

This really is a hinge pin to the sale!

Please comment below and talk to me about trust.

How have you won it?

What caused you to lose trust in other companies?

Let’s learn from our and their mistakes!

John
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The One Thing That Changes Everything
By Alexander Green

One indispensable quality affects every relationship in your life.

It holds together all your associations. It determines whether you realize your dreams, both personal and professional.

And it virtually defines you to others. Without it, true success is impossible.

Stephen M.R. Covey is even more emphatic. He writes:

“There is one thing that is common to every individual, relationship, team, family, organization, nation, economy, and civilization throughout the world — one thing which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love.

“On the other hand, if developed and leveraged, that one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life. Yet, it is the least understood, most neglected, and most underestimated possibility of our time.

“That one thing is trust.”

Simply put, trust is confidence. It is other people feeling good about relying on you.

And its value can hardly be overstated. Trustworthiness is the universally accepted test of good character.

When you trust someone, you have confidence in his honesty and abilities. You can delegate things easily and effectively. You can relax. You have peace of mind.

But when you doubt someone’s integrity, question his accomplishments, or worry about his agenda, confidence is replaced by suspicion and anxiety.

Take a moment and picture someone you trust implicitly. It could be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a business associate. How does this relationship make you feel? How easily do you communicate? How quickly do things get done?

Now imagine someone you distrust. How does this relationship feel? How easily do you communicate? Do you enjoy this relationship? Or is it complicated, cumbersome, and draining?

The difference between a high-trust and low-trust relationship is night and day. In a high-trust relationship, you can say the wrong thing and your listener still understands you. In a low-trust relationship, you can choose your words carefully, be very precise, and you may still be misunderstood.

Sadly, trust is at an ebb in our society. A Harris poll reveals that only 27 percent of Americans trust the government. Only 22 percent trust the media. Only 12 percent trust big companies. And only 8 percent trust political parties.

Personal trust is waning, too. Many people look back on contracts or commitments as something to negotiate. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Many (perhaps most) founder on a lack of trust.

We naturally gravitate away from individuals we can’t believe or rely on and towards those we can. Low trust is the very definition of a bad relationship. And once you forfeit someone’s confidence, it’s awfully hard to win it back.

This is particularly true in business.

We all survive by selling a product, service, or skill. Yet every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.

If trust is lacking, forget the other four. You’re done. The moment someone suspects your motives, everything you do becomes tainted.

That’s why successful companies make a priority of building and maintaining confidence. John Whitney, Professor Emeritus of Management at Columbia Business School, estimates that mistrust doubles the cost of doing business.

You may have the best product, great service, competitive pricing, mountains of supporting facts and figures, and testimonials galore. But if you don’t command and deserve trust, you will not enjoy long-term success.

It is never enough to simply invite trust. It must be earned.

In personal relationships, that means handling responsibility, proving your credibility, allowing yourself to be relied upon again and again. It’s not just about integrity. It’s about looking out for the other person’s interests as well as your own.

Employers build trust with employees by assigning them important responsibilities, giving them the freedom to make mistakes, and setting an example. Real leadership is about getting results in ways that inspire confidence.

In a world that changes as quickly as ours, trust is a critical factor. It is the vital currency.

Business consultant Tom Peters calls trust “the issue of the decade.” Trust makes work easier and more productive. It makes relationships stable and predictable. It creates a sense of community.

That’s why it’s crucial that we not violate it. Trust can take years to build but only a moment to destroy. And you may not even get an opportunity to try to restore it.

For each of us — and for every organization — trust is something to be built up, protected, valued, cherished, and carefully preserved.

It is the one thing that changes everything.

[Ed. Note: Alex Green is the author of The Secret of Shelter Island: Money and What Matters, as well as the editor of "Spiritual Wealth," a free e-letter about the pursuit of the good life.]

This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, a free newsletter dedicated to making money, improving health and secrets to success. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

My wife and I went to Montego Bay in Jamaica, and stayed at the Half Moon resort. We had a Beach Front Suite, literally about 20 steps from the Caribbean Sea. % star meals, peace, quiet fun and relaxing.

One of our favorite things to do was a Dolphin Experience. We got to swim with 2 Atlantic Bottle Nose Dolphins that live on the resort in their Dolphin Lagoon. (They also had 4 of the most adorable Dolphin babies there!)

Here’s a little video of our experience!

Pretty cool, huh? It was so great to be able to just – exhale… We spend so much time as Entrepreneurs running and rushing, we really need to just unplug and ‘get the hell out of Dodge!!

I’ll share with you over the next few days some of my insights, and I had a bunch.

I did my best thinking at Sunrise. I LOVE Sunsets on the ocean, but Sunrise has almost a magical feeling to it, it’s so peaceful, so warm, it always inspires me and reminds me that today is a day fill of new possibilities, opportunities and blessings.

More to come tomorrow!
We be Jammin Mon!
John

“If I had an hour to save the world I would spend 59 minutes defining the problem…  and one minute finding solutions”

From what I have seen most of my Clients and reader spend 65 minutes finding the answer…. while watching their world crumble around them.

The following is from an e-mail I get Weekly called Doug’s Weekly Success Tip. Doug’s a pretty smart guy, I’m good friends with his Mom and I’ll tell ya, the apple falls RIGHT NEXT to the tree, Doug is one sharp cookie.

Check this e-mail out, subscribe to Doug’s newsletter and most of all, start creating a question friendly environment!

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Live the Questions

“Don’t search for the answers. Love the questions. Live the questions. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
– R.M. Rilke, Paraphrased from Letters to a Young Poet, 1903

Consider this:

Questions, not answers, are the seeds of success. Someone focused on answers says, “This is the way.” Someone focused on questions asks, “Is there a better way?” Questions force you to explore – to stretch, to learn, to grow, and to be creative. Answers let your mind go to sleep. You get lazy when you think you’ve found the answer. You haven’t. And you never will because things always change. To stay vibrant and relevant, keep living the questions.

For six years, a client of mine has been holding management meetings once a quarter to discuss stategy execution. Several years ago they asked me to help them change some things to make the meetings more productive. One of the most powerful changes we made was putting questions at the heart of the meeting. We boiled the entire meeting down to the following four: (1)What’s working? (2)What’s not working? (3)What could we be doing better? (4)How could we be doing it better? “It was a small change,” my client reflected last week, “but it’s made a huge difference in how we think in the meetings. We’re much more creative and exploratory now.”

Try this:

When it comes to your meetings:

Try putting questions at the core – like the example above.
Build in mechanisms that make questioning OK and expected.
Take the time to foster a useful dialogue around the bigger questions.
Be weary of people giving straight “reports” about anything – they tend to be loaded with answers that haven’t been questioned.
Make sure you end your meetings with clear actions and owners.
Come to the next meeting just as ready to live the questions again.
- Doug Sundheim

Doug Sundheim is an organizational consultant, author, & speaker. To learn more about his services visit him online at www.clarityconsulting.com

Get Doug’s book at Amazon.com -
The 25 Best Time Management Tools & Techniques: How to Get More Done Without Driving Yourself Crazy

“If you don’t have time to read lengthy books on time management, Pam and Doug have done all the work for you. They’ve compressed the best time management tips into an action-packed, easy-to-read guide. Now you can get all the good stuff in a fraction of the time!”
– Chip R. Bell, Author, Magnetic Service: Secrets for Creating Passionately Devoted Customers

* If you’d like to receive the Weekly Success Tip Click here.

Copyright 2009 Clarity Consulting Group Inc. All rights reserved.

Followers are people who are interested in what you write about on Twitter (When you post something it’s known as “Tweeting”.) The more followers you have the more influence you can have! But be careful, there are dozens of tools that tempt you with the siren song of “get bazzillions of followers with no effort”. As you can imagine, no effort equals – Crap followers.

You want people to follow you be cause they care about you and want to hear what you have to say. This is part of the process I talk about where we get people to know you, like you and then trust you, it’s the process that takes them from Prospect to Client. And Twitter is a cool tool to do that.

Follow Chris’s advice in his latest post: http://www.chrisbrogan.com/get-more-twitter-followers-today He gives VERY sound advice

And… while your there… follow me on twitter! My handle is johnjaworski – pretty creative huh?

That’s another tip, don’t get to creative with your handle, the easier it is to get them to know you and remember you, the better it is for you growing your followers. While “sexywellhungdude” may seem like a cool handle now, it will be hard to convince people that you have anythings serious to offer!

Have fun, see ya on Twitter!

John

But… until you learn to be you, until you learn to offer what you only can offer, based on your own original life and business experiences, you’ll really be a fraud….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

Let this video remind you to be you. You are an original. You have unique experiences. Share them today!

Dig yourself…

John